Ignorance is bliss.
That moment when you are fine with the way things are, and you suddenly realize the way things REALLY are. Yeah, that moment sucks. I was blissfully ignorant to the fact of what I was left for. Oh yes, he says he wasn't happy, he says he needs some time for him. Bullshit. I'm calling his bluff.
This past weekend Rachel and I had a girls night out. We went to a club, had some drinks and danced the night away. But, then it hits me. As I'm standing at some stupid table with people all around me. Most too drunk to know their own name. THIS, this is what I was left for. Yeah, talk about a buzz kill. You know that one thing that 16 year old boys want? Yeah, they still want it at 28. I am worth so much more than standing in a crowded room with random people hitting on me. Give me some substance please. I had fun with my besty, but that night broke my heart all over again. I was taking steps forward to healing, and this feels like a huge push backwards.
Once again, I am trying to collect the pieces of my heart and become a functioning human being. But, I just want to know, how many more times is this going to happen? Because my poor shattered heart, I don't know how much more it can take. I want to feel whole again. To feel love again.
You said it,"SUBSTANCE." I know it is hard but if you don't let go... you won't be able to find it. Let it go. No need to sulk. You are substance. Your story is sad but unfortunately it happens all the time. Too much. Never give up... move forward only you allow yourself to fall behind not your night out or the drunks around you. Be you, love you, fight back... be happy!
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