Do a little dance...

One day at a time, that's what I've been told. Well, 147 days, one day at a time is a looooooooooooooooooooooong time.

But, everyday I get stronger. And today I am doing a little dance. (no, not making any love) and getting down tonight!!! Cause I can, and I'm worth it!

I'm a crazy kinda girl

Self worth comes from one thing, thinking you are worthy. - Wayne Dyer

This week has been a crawl for me. I feel as though I have been punched in the gut and flown back a few thousand steps. And then, I feel like geez I'm bitching a lot. AAHHH! Where did my stable ground go?

  Stupidity got the best of me, and now I am paying for letting my guard down. This stupid boy is going to ruin me forever. I don't want to hurt anymore. I've been looking in all the wrong places and doing all the wrong things. Still, my self-worth is no where around.

I want someone to love all the things I hate about myself, instead of someone who will point them out and make me feel worse.

Again

I thought I was broken before.

There is only so much you can take, before you break.

I have reached my breaking point, and I can't keep it together anymore.

My husband left me. How in the hell do I get past that? And why do I keep coming back to this question?? I thought I was past all this. But, when it comes down to it, my husband left ME. And I can't change it, and I can't fix it, and I can't make the statement untrue.

Dancing

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to Dance in the Rain!

Oh, i'm a dancin' and singin' and making a fool of myself. But I am having fun learning to dance. Learning to love me. Who knew life could be fun, and actually worth it!

Okay, so why isn't real life like the movies? You know, I'm doing all these great things, striving to make a better life for myself and my kids. But there is no music in the background, where is my sound track?! I need a little push every now and again to know that I am doing the right thing, and wouldn't the Rocky music be perfect!! Makes me wanna run up some steps!! I know many of you have told me that I would have great days and bad days. I would fall down and fall back a few steps. But what about the in between days. The days where it's not bad but it's not great. The days I'm trying to remember why doing all this and stretching myself thin is worth it. Somebody play me a song...

The Little Things

Baby Blues comic strip is one of my favorites to read on Sunday mornings. This one sums up everything I am looking for in the future Mr. Kimmie.

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside of your body." Elizabeth Stone

 My babies have been at their Daddy's house this week. It has been more difficult than words can describe. They are my heart. I need them, maybe even more than they need me. I feel empty and alone without them. They complete me. I miss them terribly and cannot wait until they come home. Oh the stories they will tell! Why is everything more exciting in the eyes and voice of a child? I'm not sure, but I couldn't live without it!!

Hurry home my babies!

I'm there

So, I'm there. As I was driving home from school today, an old song came on the radio. Dixie Chicks, 'You Were Mine'. And to my surprise, and my hearts surprise, no tears. My heart didn't drop, and I didn't even think about my past and the way I thought things should be. I'm there.

This man is the father of my three beautiful babies, and that I will be forever grateful. But I'm there. I'm ready.

I'm going to school. Not to prove a point to anyone, not even to show my kids the right thing to do. I'm doing it for me, completely selfish! Cause, I'm there.

It's been a loooooooooong, rocky road. But everything worth doing, is worth fighting. And this has been an uphill battle. Still is, but, I'm there.

Thank you Mommy and Daddy. Without those two showing me what true unconditional love is, I wouldn't be here!

I am one lucky lady! One lucky Sassy Kimmilicious!!