Day one...

I'm scared to start writing. I have a lot of things going on in my head. A lot to write about, but once I start it means that this is really happening. Really, Really. It means, my husband really left. It means, I'm living in my parents house with my three kids. It means that I went from living the life I always dreamed of, the life I love, to a life I don't recognize. One that I never asked for or wanted. Why is it that he gets to walk away and he instantly get 'bachelor' status. And I become a single mom of three? I gave this person my everything. My whole life. I waited for him, through two deployments, numerous school and trainings. Through late nights at work, and staff duty. So why does he get to up and leave? Why? Why does he get to shatter my world and rip me and the kids lives apart? Why?  What happened to my happily ever after? My white knight rode off, leaving me and our three kids. This man promised me forever! Forever means forever, not until you decide you want something else! We made vows. How are they so easily tossed to the side?

I've had people tell me that everything happens for a reason. But what reason could this possibly have happened for? Does that makes sense? That there is a reason that my husband cheated and left and now I'm left picking up the pieces trying to put things back together? It doesn't make sense to me.

I chose the name American Honey based on the song by Lady Antebellum. I want to get back to my roots. They way I was raised, the things that made me who I am. So join me on my journey. The journey to find me again, through the up and downs. The laughter and the tears. And hopefully on the other side of this, I will find my worth.