My big girl

I'm laying here listening to Kailey breathe as she sleeps. She has broken my heart again, and I just don't know how to make her better. She hit her knee and started crying, so she came and laid in my bed with me. She was sobbing, 'I miss daddy,' she says, 'so much mommy. Why does he have to be gone?' I inhaled slowly. What do I tell this child. She knows he's not in Iraq, and that he has his own house. How do I explain to her that daddy isn't living with us anymore. I can't. I told her it was okay to miss daddy and he would be home to see her in a few days. 'But I don't like it when he leaves, it makes me miss him more.' she said. I am holding back tears at this point! 'Mommy, whenever I get hurt (big boohoo tears now) it makes me think of daddy.' and I'm thinking, because he broke your heart. 'Because when I had that big crash and fell off my bike, he's the one that took care of me.'

Silence.

The stupid boy has walked away from that. From caring for his children. Cleaning wounds and kissing them better.  I wanted to call and yell at him and tell him what a bastard he is. But, he doesn't deserve to know that she misses him. He chose this. Not her.