American Honey: tears

Sunday, August 7, 2011

tears

I wish there was someone here to wipe my tears. Why does everything I do have to be so hard. Why is it so hard to be alone. Why is it so hard to have a man love me, for me. I keep blaming myself. Am I really that unlovable? Am I that undesirable? I get so down on myself so fast. I know it's not my fault, but it sure is easy to blame myself for this. It's easy to think that I am damaged goods and that no one in their right mind is going to want me. I mean, really, who would??? All I can do is cling to the words of friends and family. That I will find someone worth loving, and someone who loves me for me and loves my kids. period.

1 comment:

AnonymousAugust 7, 2011 at 7:56 PM
Never be defined by a man! It is never about how desirable we are or if we are worthy, or lovable. When a man seeks another it is about their own insecurity and the need to feel that newness and not work on what takes a real man to work on. They run, they can't face what is real. That defines His weakness and will eventually make him the victim of his own choices. Real life is difficult, You are a real women that is not only lovable but, defined by the children you will raise, and the friends and family whose lives you touch daily. You are defined by what you give out real love that you receive back unconditionally from you children. You will get back 7x what you lost. I guarantee it!
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You Make Me Smile

The funny things my kids say on a daily basis that make me smile.

Tavin 08/05/2012
That's President Obama!

Tavin 10/18/2011
Laying on my bed, he was looking at my Victoria's Secret catalog. He turns the page, and points, that pitty gul, that pitty gul, that pitty gul. They start early! PS it was the winter clothing catalog, no bras and panties, the models were fully clothed.

Tavin 10/16/2011
"No, you crazy!"

Tavin 09/20/2011
Kailey and Tavin were bathing together. Tavin leans back in against the tub wall and puts his hands behind his head and says, "How was your day?" When did he grow up?!!

Kailey and Andre 07/25/2011
Walking around the commissary and Kailey says, while hanging on the front if the shopping cart, "Mommy, I'm your GPS. Turn. Left." And Andrew chimes in, "In two miles." Hehe, they make me smile!!

Andrew 07/16/2011
The kids and I were looking at my baby book. Me, "My first word was drink." Kailey, "What was your second word?" Andrew, without missing a beat, "Oh crap." enough said.

Tavin 07/09/11
"My legs broken", he says falling to the floor not wanting to walk.

Andrew 07/05/11
"Mommy, do you know why there are so many bad people in China?" Me, "No, buddy, why?" Andrew, "Ninja's" I still giggle when I think about it.

Kailey 06/12/2011
We went to have our nails painted and as we sat under the lights to let them dry, Kailey says "Mommy, I'm the cutest girl in here." Who can argue with that???

"Why?", "Why?", "Why"? "*SIGH*

Kailey 06/08/2001
"Mommy, how come there isn't summer break in Georgia?" "There is Kailey, what do you mean?" "Then how come Rain Rain and Pop Pop don't have summer break?"

Andrew 06/03/2011
"Mama, Kailey just said a bad word.", "What word was that?" "She called me a crazy head." "That's not a bad word, you are a crazy head!" followed by unstoppable giggles.

Kailey 05/28/2011
"Woooowwwww, Mommy, are we in Paris??", "No, Kailey, we are in Paducah, Kentucky."

Sunday, August 7, 2011

tears

1 comment:

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