Saturday, December 3, 2011

OR so I thought....

JUST when I thought I was making progress!!!... along comes Christmas. EVERY single thing reminds me of how I have failed. How MY marriage didn't work, because I couldn't make it work! EVERY ornament, every decoration. EVERYTHING. This is my favorite time of the year. It makes me smile, makes me feel good and all around makes life worth-while. BUT knowing I failed at my marriage. That sucks. I know it wasn't my fault. I didn't walk away, he did. BUT this is my first Christmas in nine years not being a family. I have a new family, an even BETTER family, I know. But, it's not the family I had in my forever plan. This boy, has such a hold on me! Just let me go! Let me be. Let me discover my own, and better life without you!

Why does this have to be so freaking hard?! Why can't I just turn my back like him and walk away?

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